Canteen au bout de la nuit

“Midnight Canteen” by Heman Chong and Max Schumacher sucked, as a conceptual art performance even more than as a party.

For maximal attention “Midnight Canteen” was scheduled for the weekend of the opening of the Berlin Biennial. Unfortunately the canteen on the 10th floor of Rathaus Kreuzberg is rather small and the organizers had their hands on mighty mailing lists.

OTTO Dining Table And Benches
While the original tables had been replaced with puristic tables and benches that you would expect in a dutch museum the canteen routine had not been changed. Everybody had to stand in line for drinks and a snack that was labeled “food art”. The line was long. Party organizers who don’t get funded by “Hauptstadt Kultur Fonds” would have anticipated that this kind of a set up would make people consume less.

Midnight Canteen SponsorsAfter getting a drink and a plate of “food art”, it was important to get a table in order to actually eat the “food art”. We had a table with five people. I was one of the two who were sent for food and drinks. When we got back, Adrienne Göhler, curator of “Hauptstadt Kultur Fonds”, was sitting on our table. She had put her coat on the bench and refused to make room for us.

Heman Chong was all over the place taking photos and the band was called “Art Critics Orchestra”. There were “Menus” containing texts by Chong and Schumacher. Schumacher inevitably mentions that he ate at “Windows of the World” one time (he didn’t have wine). The Menus also contained drawings of the tables that were probably supposed to look more canteenesque than the original canteen tables that had been removed and a list of the “Midnight Canteen Crew”, including a “public relations officer” and someone who was responsible for “Raumtaktik”. The Raumtaktik guy had clearly failed, unless his aim was to make everybody feel stressed and annoyed. The “public relations officer” had succeeded in getting the place so crowded, that even if the Raumtaktiker hadn’t been such a loser, the party would have sucked.

As conceptual art the whole event was also a failure. Parties in strange locations and environments are quite usual and there is a long tradition, especially in Berlin. Having a band called “Art Critics Orchestra” playing neo-punk underlines what a pretentious enterprise the whole thing was.

Unfortunately conceptual art is a very attractive field for mediocre artists like Schumacher and Chong, whose greatest talent and greatest desire seem to be getting attention. Getting attention is fine as long as it is a little bit inspiring or at least entertaining as a side product.

I did not stay until the end of the night.

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